Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Dealing with problems in friendship..

Because we are young, we tend to be more aggressive and expressive, therefore some teenagers have other types of view, personalities, point of view and etc..
There are few types of personalities. I found this from google btw..
"Teen years are a time of growth and discovery. Understanding personality types can lead to growth and balance in life. Here are some common types of personalities."

Beauty Queens and Kings, Look for those who follow fashion, wear branded clothing and spend a fortune on beauty products and treatments. Image is very important to these teens.
Flirts, Flirts are mostly female and easy to recognize. They flutter their eyes, walk in a jaunty manner and dress to attract attention.
Dramatics, These teens overemphasize everything and to them, nothing is ordinary. A broken nail is a total disaster and a missed bus, a tragedy. Their dramas are accompanied by expansive gestures and loud monologues.
Jocks, Every school have them; guys whose lives revolve around team sports. They hang together, have their own language, are always talking strategy and project an image of elitism.
Teacher’s Pets, Also known as “suck ups”. These teens know just how to work the school system. They do their homework properly and on time. They ask questions in class and offer to help the teacher. They may even bring them an apple.
Emos, Short for emotional. These teens are into deep feeling and are known by their dress code. Tight black jeans and T-shirts, studded belts and black hair worn long over one eye are sure signs of an emo.
Health Nuts, These individuals live for exercise and diet. Think gym, jogging, health food and protein shakes and that’s them in a nutshell. They wear sporty clothes and normally have loads of energy.
Nerds, Stereotypical nerds are skinny, spotty and wear glasses. Modern day nerds often look normal but are pale from extended periods in libraries and laboratories. They are super-smart and love to engage in academic discussions.
Perfectionists, Their lockers are pin-neat and their pencils are arranged by color. Their text books are stacked in alphabetical order and everything has its place.
Gossips, These are the know-alls of the school. If something’s going down, they’re the first to know about it. They have the low-down on everyone and everything.

I’m pretty sure that most of you have met these kinds of people...
We are human, therefore we need to socialize, we need friends, and we need someone to talk to. Frankly speaking, I choose my friends. I think most people does.. How can you not choose your friend? My theory is, you can only have a long friendship with those who match with your personality. Not 100% match, but you know what I mean.
Imagine when you make friends with those people that does not really match you, how will you react when they are just being themselves? For example like when you don’t like a smoker and yet your friend is a smoker. What will you do if he/she smokes in front of you?
Well, I’m going to talk about my friends, where three of us all have different kinds of personality and how I try to maintain these friendship.
One of my friend, Limy, has a unique personalities. I think she does not express her emotion that much? I guess.. Because she never really angry at us, she never really sad with what we said, but we laugh at the same joke. Maybe she was sad, but she never really shows that. She will be just “Ohh...” Sometimes I wonder have I ever did something wrong to her? How she really feel inside? I don’t know.. I hope she did not keep it inside, because when that mountain of anger blows, I’m in big trouble.
Yes, I did say that we can’t be friend with those who has different personalities. But then you can put across these problems and try to think of the other way round. At least you still laugh at the same jokes, interested in the same things, study the same subject maybe? Haha, doesn’t mean that studying different subject means you can’t be friend. Those are just examples..
But eventually one day you will experience uneasiness because of these different types of personalities, and from that point you might have a few problems with your friendship. You must learn how to control your emotion, you must have the willingness to try to give the best that you can in this friendship.
My previous blog talk about one of my friend which I don’t really like her attitude in responding to an idea that someone gave. We are still friend, but not as close now. We still say “Hii.. Bye..” And sometimes we chat, talk and gossip.. We used to can understand each other until the situation deteriorates..

I love all my friends (only for those who I consider as friend. Again, I choose my friend). And this kind of problem will happen because of different types of attitude, point of view, the way of thinking and many more.
In a healthy friendship, you will need a lot of tolerance. Because we are facing the outside of the world. It's no longer the inside world, like your family, yourself, brothers and sisters and etc. Your friend might not have the same personality as you, therefore you have to know how to understand the situation. Sometimes people might hurt you, but they didn't know that they did. So, you need to be more forgiving. Except the person did the same exact mistakes for like 10 times, then you might want to reconsider..
The second thing is that you need to be more open in talking about how you feel. I guess this is quite important too. By doing this, you can know how your friend felt, and try to fix it next time. Your friends are not God. They can't read mind. You need to open up a little bit and tell them if something is bugging your mind. Then you get to know more, and you friend get to know what is happening. Don't just suddenly out of no where angry without telling them what happen. Of course this may lead to another problem, which is not good for long-term.
I guess a few things that considered a heavy crime in friendship would be lies, back stabbers, and intolerant. I mean like, we are not perfect. We made mistakes. But the good thing about mistakes is that we can learn from it and be better next time, and not to repeat the same mistakes again. As a friend, you need to know how to control your emotions when your friend offend you, or make any mistakes that pissed you off.
I was not back stabbing about my friend btw. She should be sensitive enough to know that we are avoiding her if she asks for any suggestion, or asking opinion in her relationship problems.We are trying to avoid those awkward moment when you don't really want to talk about something so that the atmosphere won't be so uncomfortable..
Just a few days ago, I think I accidentally slammed on my friend Lilis. I did not slam her, but I post a status on Facebook. Actually I just wanted to vent my anger. I did not post this status because of her. Actually it was because of something else. I’m the type who can’t really hide my feelings inside. I say what ever things that I like, and what ever things in my mind. Here is the status I posted,

If this is the respond, then I prefer not to care, not to give opinion, not to get involved, not to voice out anything.. just sit down and relax....
She read it and left me a message. I can’t copy paste the message, so I just summarize what she said.
She said that she has no intention to argue with me, she just wanted to act in the favor of all the team. She said she was task oriented, so works must be done. I was like, "hmmm,, ok.." and I replied her how I felt at that point of time, which is after I calm myself down.