This post is going to be about those people who say, "Oh you look perfect" and thinking that it means nothing.
As a good friend, or best friend, I feel that it's very important for me to be honest. For me, I prefer to hear the truth when I asked about something rather than hearing a nice lies. I mean, hello..... It's a lie.. you can say whatever you want. You might as well say something even better. Right? "Ohh you look perfect. You look like some beauty pageant!" lol
I give you a comparison..
A situation where I asked my acquittance, "Hey, how do I look?" and the person was like, "Oh, you look great."
I don't really care. Her opinion doesn't really affect me much because she was just an acquittance. Maybe even when she said I look like shit, I probably won't be bother to change. Then, after that, people were looking at me c0z I look weird and some random strangers were staring at me because the color combination of my clothes look like shit. I won't blame her for lying to me. Because she doesn't care and I don't really take her words seriously.
But, you know, some people are trying to be nice. But that's the wrong way! You are lying....
Another situation is, I asked my very close friend, "Hey, I'm trying to dress differently today.. How do I look?" and she replied me, "You look so pretty!"
I was like, ok.. I believe you. Then I head out to meet my boyfriend, for example. He look at me, confused.. "What the fuck are you wearing?" Because he has always been so straight forward.
There you have it.. Which one hurts you more? Let's say the second situation is not my boyfriend. Let's say both of the situation is where strangers were staring at me. They were whispering each other, "Look at that girl. Ewwwwww..." Which one hurts you more?
I trusted my friend's opinion.......
What do you think I will feel? Is my friend trying to make fun of me? Did she do it on purpose? She really want me to go out look like shit is it? I trusted her.....
I feel that, maybe because it's only words. So people did not really take it seriously. It's free, it's easy to say. You can say whatever you want, but do you say whatever you want for your friends? For me, I take words seriously. My friend's opinion or words are important to me.
Or, maybe my friends know some people who are constantly fishing for compliments, they only take good words for a feedback. Once you say, "You look ugly.. You should go and change," they will go crazy and say, "You should probably look at the mirror yourself!"
I, personally, choose my friends. So, I think, for those who I consider as a friend are those people who can click with me and understand me. So, they should know that I'm not the type of person that will fish for compliment.
I prefer my friend to tell me, "You look like shit! Go and change!" rather than, " You look beautiful!" while I look like shit.
I know some of you my think, they are trying to be nice. Yes, I know. But there times where you can be nice to me, like when I win a competition, when I win the beauty pageant, when I managed to get the first class honours in my degree, when I got married, when I was sad, when I was happy, and so on.
Being honest and being nice are two different things. Being honest means you tell the truth. "Being nice" doesn't mean that you are being honest. Being nice can be saying good things about someone to make them feel better. Not all nice things are real. Being nice can be not realistic and untrue..
But hey, you can be honest and be nice at the same time. Hmmmm, maybe don't tell me I look like shit. You can tell the person that she looks "ok" as in acceptable, BUT she can look better with this this this (give suggestions). There you go, being nice and honest at the same time. It's not that hard.
See, if you tell someone they look good while they aren't, you are lying.. and when you lie to someone, it makes them hard to believe you next time. For me, If you lie to me, you make me feel that all the words that came out from your mouth are worthless, not even worth my time and my brain cells to process your words.
I appreciate honesty eventhough the truth hurts. My boyfriend is cheating on me, for example, and my friend happens to see that. She just keep quiet but she persuade me to break up with him. When I asked why, she was like, "He is not worth your time, he is not good.." no further explanation. While for me, he treat me well and I don't find any reason why I need to break up with him because I don't know the truth. Then she got angry and she thought I was being ridiculous to holding on to this relationship... In the end the friendship break just because of that. Stupid right?
She could have just tell me that he was cheating on me therefore I should break up with him. But NO, she didn't.... Why? because she don't want to hurt me and she was "being nice". Ahh...... bitch.. that's not being nice.. That's lying!
Sorry for the vulgarities but I'm really pissed with these kind of people.. I want a cooler reason for my friendship to break. For example, one of us died or .............. I can't think of any right now except that.
I really feel that people should just be honest. I don't want to have a mind set that, "You are lying" or "Is she lying?" It's very tiring... I honestly feel that, I would rather be friend with a slut than a liars.
I would rather my friend tell in front of my face. "Bitch, why you talk to my boyfriend?" Easily! Easily I can explain and clear things up.
Imagine you ask your best friend, "Are you mad at me?" She replied you nicely, "No, no worry."
Behind you she was ranting about you, "That slut was flirting with my boyfriend."
See, dishonest will fuck things up real hard.
Now here, I'm going to say, two of my very close friends are not liars. That's why I love them. They are very honest and they give a good advice. Although sometimes they are not very realistic, but honesty is the most important. The worst thing a person can do to me is lying..
Maybe this is just me. I have unique way of thinking. I was lied over and over again till there was one point of time, I can't trust anyone. Not even myself! When I looked at my school notes, I don't trust what I wrote there.. lol
Do you guys think the same way? Do you guys prefer nice words than honesty? Or do you prefer your friends to tell you the truth?